I think everyone has forgotten that December is National London Appreciation Month. I'm not feeling very appreciated so everyone needs to step their game up. Hanukkah, Christmas and my birthday so soon ! Love having so many different things to celebrate !

I feel like recently there are just not enough hours in the day to get stuff done. Or maybe I am just lazy and procrastinate. My apartment is so messy right now, and I had two consecutive days off and still did not clean it. The internet is such a bad distraction. Sometimes I seriously contemplate flushing my computer down the toilet. I feel like today I had an excuse though, Kt's Work Holiday party was so crazy !

I'm so bad at going to sleep when I need to. My mom told me I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, totally skipping it. First reason being, I hate the dentist, who ever wants to go to the dentist? Who really wants to get up early and drive to East Baltimore to go to a medical center located directly behind Perkins either? Not I. Also I don't have to be at work until two, meaning I will not be getting up until after noon.

I finished the whole series of the Wire. I am now accepting suggestions of another TV show to become obsessed with. Open to suggestions, really open to suggestions of TV shows with cute street muffins like Tristan Wilds on it. So disappointed he is on the new 90210, such a downgrade. 

I think I am spending the night in Edgewater tomorrow. I have a lot of laundry. If I go to my grandparents all I have to do is sort my laundry and somehow it gets done. My grandmother is the magical laundry fairy. She also makes me breakfast and packs my lunch. It's like being a kid again. Eternal youth, yes !

I wish I wasn't always so conflicted. When I have too many options I tend to become indifferent to all of them. Not good. 

Goodnight Sugarplums.

My week/weekend was crazy. I know I always say I am tired, but after this week I really am feel exhausted. I've fallen asleep/almost fallen asleep in so many places. I had a streak of bad luck in the beginning of the week. First my car got booted, AGAIN. From three tickets, that I got in July. I had totally forgotten about them. They have these boots now that are "self-removal". So you pay a hundred dollars to remove the boot yourself, & then you will get charged twenty five dollars for each day you don't return it to one of three locations. Plus, you have to pay five hundred dollars if the boot is "damaged". I saw three other cars that were booted on my way to return mine. End of the year, should be expected. My phone is also broken. If I put it down too hard on any surface it restarts. Sometimes, it even restarts just from closing or opening it. 

Thursday, My grandparents came down from Egdewater to go to the monument lighting with me & took me to a nice restaurant. They really like making excuses to go to nice restaurants. My grandmother takes pictures of everything. And I mean everything. She took a picture of our waiter too. She also makes it a point to learn everyone's name. She introduces herself with her first & middle name. She is the best, most classy lady in the universe.

My Grandfather on the other hand loves taking self pics. He took pictures of us & gets really excited when he gets "everyone" in. I think he has framed a couple of self pics he has taken. It was really fun hanging out with them. I don't know why I get to anxious when I think about them coming into my own separate living environment. They always make it a really fun, relaxing experience. They had Sofi's Crepes & didn't like them. Don't know what was up with that.

Work has been crazy lately. I don't care what anyone says, recession or not,people are still shopping & trampling people while doing so? 

Party Friday. Life[best movie] & baking beforehand. 

Co-founders of B-More Hard Ass Cakes. I love Kt. She is the best ever. 

Last night, due to lack of funds, I got to hang out with Anna & we created awesome social experiments. They really worked out in both of our favors. Then we got into a snowball fight & she lost.

Life really isn't all that bad.

Love Twins

Kayne, did you get your fashion inspiration from Brother Mouzone of The Wire? You silly, silly man! You thought no one would catch on.

The Boy in Striped Pyjamas

I went to the Charles tonight to see The Boy in Striped Pyjamas tonight. The movie was one of the saddest and heart wrenching I've seen in a long time. I bawled from the middle of the movie until about fifteen minutes after it was over. My mom had to sit with me in the theatre and calm me down. I don't want to spoil anything, but if you know how much I love children and you see this movie you'll see why this movie upset me so much. It also just furthered my interest in the Holocaust and it's youth. If you see this movie and don't cry, you officially don't have a heart. It's only playing in Baltimore for another day or so. 

I didn't know that a drop in temperature meant that people go into social hibernation. It really is bumming me out.

Visit with my CEO went okay. My District Manager says I would have batted a 100 had I not missed one detail. He spent two hours in my store & in every other store he only spent about half an hour. He really had time to pick everything apart. An example to let everyone know that I never change no matter who I am around, I did tell the CEO of my company, "I always get what I want."

Last Thursday was Diplo with Laurren. We love Baltimore Club music & Rye Rye so much. I really wish there was a way for her to be my best friend. Pictures from that night are really funny:

Zach & I's relationship can pretty much be summed up in those pictures. Hilarious.

For those of you who don't know, I love seasonal treats. Wegman's currently has the best selection of them:

Vitasoy Chocolate Peppermint Milk, can be served warm or chilled. On the back it says Happy Winter. So freaking cute. Iced Gingerbread Clif bars, get out of town! My mind was blown when I found these things among others. I also get so distracted when I walk past the M&M custom color stand at Wegmans.

So I guess since no one is really hanging out tonight I'll organize my life & watch The Wire.

From top to bottom, each picture will be explained. 

Laurren is awesome. This picture is from a couple weeks ago & it still is the best picture ever. Even though she locks her keys in her car when it is really cold, I am always glad when she is around. I think that she is the only person who puts up with me all the time. Even when I am whiney, which I have been 90 percent of the time lately.

The phone is the condom is Anna's. Anna is the best person to play practical jokes on. She just gets really confused and then laughs so hard she can't speak or breathe. She never gets mad. I feel bad because I get mad at her so easily. But then I also forgive her quickly because she remind me of all the stuff we have been through together. For example, breaking down in Cleveland, Ohio. We still loved each other after being together in a car for sixteen plus hours. We had the best halloween together too. Proof:

Lastly, there is Diamond. She is one of the best dogs ever. All she wants is attention & love. She sits like a human on the couch & it makes me so happy. I am making a list of all the dogs I love in the world. Starting with Roxy, Spike, Radio, Pugslee and Diamond. All the best, cutest pups.

Everyone keeps asking how long I am going to grow my hair. My answer: As long as I want to. But my plan is to grow it long enough to wear it in a braid down my back & take it out at the most awkward time & brush it. Kt thinks this idea is genius.

My upstairs neighbors are so sweet. If I didn't like them so much I would complain about how loud they play their terrible trance/techno/house music. I feel like they are really into Drum & Bass too. It seriously sounds like they play their music & then do African Rain Dances or something. Sometimes, they are SO loud.

I am really stressed with work. It is starting to get so busy & on top of that I am meeting the CEO of my company Wednesday. I've worked for my company for three years & have yet to meet this man. I am going to be leading the visit too because all the store managers are going to be a conference. I love the spotlight, but with this visit I feel like I have no support whatsoever. I'll let everyone know how it goes.

I just want 2009 to be here. 2008 has given me nothing but confusion. In 2009, I expect more: hangouts, baking sessions, practical jokes on Anna & others, road trips, decorating, movie watching, & growth.

I dog sat two beautiful pugs for a few days last week. They left Friday & it was so sad. They got in my friend Katie's car, & looked at me like "aren't you coming with us?". They were so excited when I would get home & they snuggled with me at night. Radio fell asleep on my chest one day and wouldn't move. But since she is so cute I let her stay there.I think it's funny that when people have dogs it makes you more approachable. Some many people came up to me when I had them to make small talk. They also got a lot of attention from drug dealers. I walked by one and he said " Yo baby, can you walk me like that some day?". Another night, this one man was said " Look at the two sweet peas, I'm sorry, three sweet peas." On Thursday night, around 12, I took both of them out for  a walk & went to the park. There was this old man stumbling around, obviously drunk. He went to sit down on a bench, and almost sat in this twenty something guy's lap, and when he realized what he was doing ran away to another bench. When he tried to sit down, he completely missed it, and when he face planted on the ground it made the biggest thump I've ever heard. He didn't get up for a good twenty minutes & the twenty something guy he tried to sit on before even asked him if he needed help. I tried not to laugh. Now that the dogs are not here I feel so lonely. Nothing to come home to.

The older I get the more I wonder what it would be like to see the world through a child's eye again. Nothing seems real anymore &  everything has lost it's innocence. I want to dream again without consequence. Every action you take as an adult has a consequence, so how are we supposed to live?

I am pretty sure unless you know me, this shirt won't make sense. But if you do know me, you would know this was made for me & would understand me trying to find excuses to wear it everyday.

Loneliness is the human condition.

Picture from Saturday night at my beehive. I really do think that the honey has run dry there, though. I have a terrible habit of drinking coffee at work when I close & then I can't sleep until around two or three, even if I have to open the store. Everyday I have at least one really weird customer, I need to start telling people about these customers or else I'll explode. Today, this mother & daughter come in. You can tell that they have a close relationship, & they are discussing pants with me. The mother is dressed normally, but the daughter has on this Metallica  shirt on. The shirt isn't a cool Metallica shirt though, it's one of those Wal-Mart looking, belly showing ," in ten years I'll either be in a Rehab or mental institution " shirts. The daughter talked really slow & exaggerated, I wondered if she is retarded. The mother laughed at everything the daughter said, almost in slow motion, even if what she is saying wasn't remotely funny. The daughter was explaining the whole pants buying extravaganza, that went like this: " I woke up today & it was really cold. I went to put on pants- PANTS! & you know what? I didn't have any...no pants- PANTS!". After this, the mother started laughing. What was funny about this story? I was so lost. I guess I'll never understand certain people.

I fixed my sink. It was really weird how every male that entered my apartment while it was broken would ask " what's wrong with your sink? let me/ can I/ want me to fix it?". It definitely proved that that male " fix it " complex is true. And fyi, I did fix it all by my lonesome. I haven't fixed my light in the kitchen yet. Now I have this irrational fear that I am going to unscrew it too much and not be paying attention and it will fall on the floor. Then once if falls on the floor, it will obviously be dark so I won't be able to clean it up. Or I'll try to clean it up and I'll cut myself and bleed to death. I know that sounds really severe, but my thought process always leads to the worst case scenario. 

I got my first two discs of The Wire. It's really good. But it makes me really mad they can't use the real names of the projects. Even though I am more familiar with the East Side pr

ojects, it would still be more interesting  if I knew what they were really trying to imitate. Some actors on the show have really bad fake Baltimore accents, too.

I really need to clean my apartment, do my dishes, be more responsible, etc. I got to push my island back in front of my air conditioning unit yesterday, it was a good moment. Now I am just counting down the days until my land lord decides to turn on the heat, because now it's getting kind of cold in the morning. I pick out my clothes at night and then get dressed in bed. I used to do this when I was in middle school, and

 now every time I do it there's a certain nostalgia to the routine. 

Work is already talking about holiday.  Time flies so fast when all you have is work and bills. I have no concept of time anymore. A week seems like two days, a month seems like a week. Holidays are nice now that I can appreciate what family I have. I only wish I could give them more of my time. I feel so selfish when I think of all the time I spend on myself and with my friends [who are essentially, just extended family] but I feel like no one really perfects that balance. All I can do is exert more effort, and I can't say I've done that yet.

I left the apartment once today. I went to Rite Aid to get a drink. The cashier was really awkward so that was proof that I should probably never leave the house again. I really like What Not To Wear, I know that sounds weird, but let me just give you some Stacy London quotes. "I've seen plenty of hardware on shoes, mostly on GUCCI shoes, witches, do not wear GUCCI." & " Corduroy is never elegant". The other day I was making pasta and when I turned the wrong burner on it lit all my tea bags on fire. It was really scary. Mitch Clem's Nothing Nice to Say Collection is out. I want it, now I have to find it. Laurren also informed me that Netflix now has The Wire seasons available. I'm joining just for that.

How My Life Works

The other day my light in the kitchen wouldn't turn on. The lightbulb had been there since I moved in, so I just assumed I needed a new lightbulb. I buy a new lightbulb, return home, replace old lightbulb. Go to turn on the light, it still doesn't work. I let it be. Today my friend got my light to turn on. Now it won't go back off. I can't sleep with the light on. So I just unscrewed the light bulb so I can go to sleep. I'll figure something else out later. Also, my sink in my bathroom is clogged.

I would say this story applies to most of my daily interactions and life in general. 

Going to either of my homelands is going to be more expensive than I thought. My little change jar is overflowing right now, and it's one serious change jar. I'm talking mostly dimes and quarters, not wimpy pennies and nickels. So watch out Budapest and Tokyo, your ambassador in America is coming your way come two th

ousand nine or ten. Maybe I'll find some really native men in either place that have the three c's [ car, crib, and career], that will sweep me off my feet, or I can bring them back with me, that'd be cool too. I'll have to brush up on my Hungarian and Japanese, shouldn't be that hard, it should be embedded in my DNA already. So who is coming with me?