If someone were to ask me to show them where I was from it would take me days to give them the actual tour. It would require planes, trains and automobiles. I would have to take them to four places spread over Maryland and California. 1. Edgewater, MD. 2. West Hollywood, CA.3.Fallston, MD.4. East Baltimore, MD.
I've never gotten to call anyone one place home. My mother's nomadic lifestyle lead us to move around a lot and I never feel like we developed any roots. The places I've lived have all influenced me in someway but have never defined who I am. All my good, positive memories never took place at "home". I remember other people's homes filled with others people's families who made me feel like I was part of something.
Going back to Fallston brought back old memories of feeling displaced. All I ever wanted was to feel like I was part of a family. All I felt during that period in my life was used. I wasn't recognized for anything, only reprimanded for my shortcomings which I was already fully aware of. I began to feel like everything I ever did was wrong and that I would never amount to anything. But during this time, I learned how to fend for myself. I learned that you couldn't trust anyone and you could only depend on yourself. I plotted and schemed and saved just so I could be out on my own. I learned how to be alone.
There's was some good times though too:
Two and a half years later, I've built a home for myself and my friends are my family. I am part of something and it's something tangible that I have faith in. Everything I have I have earned and it can't be taken away from me. I have come along way and I can't look back.
